The late DMX's late obituary

Unless you were living under a Dwayne Johnson last year, you will have heard of the sad passing of one of Western Civilisation’s most beloved icons: DMX.

DMX was born Earl Simmons on the 18th of December in 1970. The ‘D’ stood for ‘Dark’, the ‘M’ stood for ‘Man’ and the ‘X’ didn’t stand for anything. It was just ‘X’.

A teacher, X would show the world how to ‘stop, drop, shut ‘em down, open up shop.’

A generous man, X’s inclination was always to ‘give it to ya’, but in the end he had no more of ‘it’ to give.

He is survived by his 15 children.

(the editor) Dan. 

 



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How I wish I could give it to you

In recent weeks, I've been up to my eyebags in flash fiction. I wrote another one that got rejected.  But another one I wrote after that was ok.  The one that was rejected, was rejected because it featured penis too heavily (a bit like Birth of the Holy). Anyway I tried a new one, and made the creative compromise of not featuring any dick and it turned out ok. So I guess the lesson is to give feedback a chance and sometimes working within creative limits can produce serviceable work.  You might not realise this (especially from reading this blog) but I'm a professional writer.  In a way, I'm in the privileged position of being paid to write these stories, so I should be open to feedback. Even if it means having to write something that (if you've read this blog before) doesn't feature my favoured motifs of cock and DMX.  Anyway, that acceptable story is one for another time.  Here's the one that got rejected: Our date is going well. She looks at me and we lo...
Read more

BeReal? More like GET REAL

Image
I'm 30 years old. My 20s couldn't have ended more recently but it's happened already: I'm an old fart. I can't blame BeReal: the herald of this revelation. It's just a vessel shedding light on one of life's inevitable truths. It's something I always believed would happen. But maybe not to me? Such a smug, naive delusion this was. I'm embarrassed I ever believed it.  The signs were there of course. "Rick 'n' Morty is so original and funny." Ok.  " You have you heard the new Billy Eilish? it's iconic." Holy fuckin' hell. Ok whatever floats your boat kid. "Oh fuck! I'm being cyberbullied!" Oh no. Sorry I didn't mean for that to sound that sarcastic.  Like every generation before me, I was excited about the youth. What will be their contribution to culture? How will they find new ways to stick it to the man? I was set to be stunned. And I was... ...stunned with disappointment.  I was ready to shameles...
Read more

RAP METAL STILL EXISTS (THOUGHTS ON TALLAH AFTER THEIR SHOW DOWNSTAIRS AT THE DOME)

Rap metal exists. It exists as much now as it existed when it first started to exist.  Tallah first found me during the pandemic. I was deep into the 6ix9ine lore and he'd just put out that song about being back - and just how back he was from jail after grassing on every person he'd ever met plus Cardi B.               Shrewd viralists Tallah picked up the song and refashioned it into a nuts-to-butts nu-metal banger which quested its way on to my timeline and entered my eyes and ears and I thought it sounded cool. I powered up the Spotify and got listening. It turns out 6ix9ine is a good blueprint for Tallah. Trying different styles, features and stunts to gain a some notoriety. A band made from YouTuber Justin Bonitz, someone savvy with the algorithms, clickbait and Patreon (check out our EP of Alladin covers?) and the son of legendary Dream Theatre drummer Mike Portnoy. They've also fired a  bloke  for being dodgy. And pu...
Read more