What does your COVID vaccine say about you?

This is a haiku

What does your COVID vaccine 

say about you?... dude: 

AstraZeneca - You’re a sensual risk taker. You’re over 30 and lovin’ it #wotclot.

 

Pfizer - You’re too cool for easy transportation and get pretty faded, pretty quickly. You call all your anti-vax haters ‘Mrs. Doubt-Pfizer’.


Johnson & Johnson - One dose of you is more than enough. 

 

Novavax - Good with new people and particularly popular in the UK for less than obvious reasons (like Nando’s). 

 

Moderna - Like Pfizer but you have a funnier name. You also like pregnant women. You love hijinks and hate goodbyes. 

 

Sinovac - You make a bad first impression, but your second impression is nearly ok. 

 

Sputnik V - You’re a true underdog. Everybody scoffs and laughs at you at the beginning but you soon prove them wrong. You’ve got nothing to do with space though, and this surprises people.

(the editor) Dan.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How I wish I could give it to you

In recent weeks, I've been up to my eyebags in flash fiction. I wrote another one that got rejected.  But another one I wrote after that was ok.  The one that was rejected, was rejected because it featured penis too heavily (a bit like Birth of the Holy). Anyway I tried a new one, and made the creative compromise of not featuring any dick and it turned out ok. So I guess the lesson is to give feedback a chance and sometimes working within creative limits can produce serviceable work.  You might not realise this (especially from reading this blog) but I'm a professional writer.  In a way, I'm in the privileged position of being paid to write these stories, so I should be open to feedback. Even if it means having to write something that (if you've read this blog before) doesn't feature my favoured motifs of cock and DMX.  Anyway, that acceptable story is one for another time.  Here's the one that got rejected: Our date is going well. She looks at me and we lo...
Read more

RAP METAL STILL EXISTS (THOUGHTS ON TALLAH AFTER THEIR SHOW DOWNSTAIRS AT THE DOME)

Rap metal exists. It exists as much now as it existed when it first started to exist.  Tallah first found me during the pandemic. I was deep into the 6ix9ine lore and he'd just put out that song about being back - and just how back he was from jail after grassing on every person he'd ever met plus Cardi B.               Shrewd viralists Tallah picked up the song and refashioned it into a nuts-to-butts nu-metal banger which quested its way on to my timeline and entered my eyes and ears and I thought it sounded cool. I powered up the Spotify and got listening. It turns out 6ix9ine is a good blueprint for Tallah. Trying different styles, features and stunts to gain a some notoriety. A band made from YouTuber Justin Bonitz, someone savvy with the algorithms, clickbait and Patreon (check out our EP of Alladin covers?) and the son of legendary Dream Theatre drummer Mike Portnoy. They've also fired a  bloke  for being dodgy. And pu...
Read more

Stalkers of the dark

Image
Here's a scenario: Little Red Riding Hood encounters Eddie the Head from the Iron Maiden album covers. Eddie goes in for a kick. Though he's several meters away, his leg impossibly extends in Hood's direction, morphing into a chainsaw blade, roaring straight for her head, when she produces an uzi from her picnic basket and blows Eddie away.  Here's another scenario:  A cursed, but empty suit of samurai armour is hacking away at Dracula. He ducks and weaves out the way before grabbing the suit of armour and uses his powers to force the armour into material form: a beautiful woman, wearing nothing but a yukata. He bites down on her neck after transforming into a demonic entity. These scenarios are from the game Darkstalkers. The greatest fighter Capcom ever put out.  We shall never see it's like again.  (the editor) Dan
Read more